Reminders...

God and I have been talking a lot lately...well, I've been doing a lot of talking & He's been doing awesome about listening to me cry, complain, worry, stress, not sleep, not even feel like I even have time to eat, etc.  At just the right moment, I mean exactly the the right moment, a phrase or verse comes into my head & bam...He makes it all better.

Isn't God awesome like that?

Yesterday, as Abram & I were driving home from spending the day with Matt's mom, her husband, 2 out of three of Matt's sisters, & 4 of our 10 nephews & nieces I almost had to pull over to just breathe when, "take it one day at a time" came swirling into the fog that can be my mind these days.  I remembered the verses that speak about worrying & doubt that I have studied and studied since I was a teen & it was as simple as God reminding me that I can't be effective for Him when I get so wrapped up in silly little things.

He reminded me to just relax & trust.  That despite the fact that though Abram is an excellent night sleeper (yet I still feel sleep deprived because it takes a lot of energy to take care of that cute little one, especially since he's in a cat-napping phase right now & the only time I can get much accomplished is when Matt gets home from school...of course, all I want to do then is just spend time with my boys since Matt's been gone all day) I'm tired & because of that, it's challenging to keep my emotions in check, & because of that my mind goes awry & I feel like I'm just going loose it sometimes.

What?  Are you kidding me?  All I've ever wanted to do is be a wife & a mommy & I'm feeling this way?  Seriously?  After all we had to do to get this little miracle boy here (& his little frozen brothers & sisters) I sometimes feel so overwhelmed that I lose sight of the amazing blessing that motherhood is.  How does this happen?  For years I've heard others talk about the hard stuff that comes with parenting & my only thought was, "what I'd give to know what that feels like" & "I've waited my whole life not to sleep due to a little fussy babe."  And then the naggyness (yes, I made that word up, don't steal it ;) of things undone creeps up & I feel so down.

And then God nudges my brain to remind me, "dear child, you are not superwoman, you are human.  I made you that way, imperfections & all.  And I love you.  Your emotions, your never ending to-do list, never changes who you are in Me.  Those things will get done, I will help you.  Let's just take this slow, remember?"

And though there are no two people I love more than my boys, I'm reminded of how thankful I am for the first love of my life & how He's the best parent that this lowly parent ever could ever be...and I love Him so for it  :)